I watched one Olympic weightlifting montage and immediately decided I was a professional athlete in the making. At 2 AM, I ordered a 200lb barbell set and a weight bench. When it arrived, I realized two things: I live on the fourth floor of a walk-up, and I can’t actually lift the boxes. Now my hallway is a permanent obstacle course, and I use the weight bench as a very expensive, very uncomfortable shelf for my laundry.

